The Rutles

The Rutles were a well-known UK group formed in Rutland which consisted of the members Ron Nasty, Dirk McQuickly, Stig O'Hara and Barry Wom. They formed near a lunchtime disco and began their success when their then future manager Leggy Mountbatten met them.

History
In 1957, Ron Nasty and Dirk McQuickly bumped into each other at a very stale space in Rutland. Ron and Dirk both agreed to form a band and later found their guitarist, Stig O'Hara and their drummer Barry Wom, the latter of which was found in a van. His name which was previously Barrington Womble was changed and so was his haircut, becoming simply Barry Wom. They started performing in the Cavern in 1961 and would often perform the song "Goose-Step Mama" there. That same year, Leggy Mountbatten met them in a dark cellar. Leggy didn't like the music too much, but he did like their trousers, which attracted him well. Later in 1961, the Rutles would be booked in a club in Hamburg, the naughtiest city in Germany.

In those early days, there was also a fifth Rutle, a friend of Ron. He couldn't play guitar, but he knew how to have a good time, and in Hamburg, that was more important. The Rutles would often stay in a dark cellar in Hamburg with many, many rats. Once, Leppo got lost and he was never found again. When the Rutles returned from Hamburg, Leggy showed the photographs of the Rutles to multiple producers, such as Archie Macaw and Dick Jaws, who approved of their trousers. Initially, Leggy tried to get Brian Thigh to sign the Rutles, but Brian claimed that guitar groups would never make money, and for the rest of his life, he was called an asshole. After a recording session in 1962 where they recorded "Number One" at Shabby Road Studios. Their first album (Please Rut Me) took 20 minutes, the second (Meet the Rutles) would take even longer and "Number One" was released as a single with "Twist and Rut". In the early days, the Rutles would ride the go carts and they would visit many places in Rutland. The Rutles' success was only a drumbeat away. "Number One" would continue to be performed in 1963 at multiple concerts and eventually on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1964. The song dated back to when they were kids. Another song that the Rutles wrote in those early days was "Between Us". During sessions for Please Rut Me, the song was demoed, but was ultimately rejected for not being appetising enough. The song eventually was recorded and finished for A Hard Day's Rut. The Rutles had multiple ambitions during their time such as writing songs and being hairdressers. When the Rutland Stones were formed, the Rutles noticed that they needed a song, so they agreed to write a song for them, which eventually became "Baby Let Me Be" and they ran around the block to write the song and according to Mick Jagger, the lead singer in the Rutland Stones, "It was horrible and we never recorded it." Rutlemania was growing bigger and bigger in Rutland and the Rutles were even invited to perform for the Royal Family, particularly for the Queen, a Rutles fan. The songs performed were "From Rut To You", "Baby Let Me Be", "With A Girl Like You and "Number One". The Rutles found success, not only in Rutland, but also in America. Many American radio announcers showed enthusiasm for the Rutles, most notably Bill Murray the K. In February 1964, the Rutles were invited to perform on the Ed Sullivan Show where he opened and closed the show. The first song they performed was "Hold My Hand", which was on the Meet the Rutles album. Shortly after this performance, Rutles albums would be released in the US such as "Introducing... the Rutles". Nasty had published and written a best-selling book, Out of Me Head. Only one media hadn't been conquered by the Rutles yet, the Cinema. In 1964, A Hard Day's Rut, featuring the hit single I Must Be In Love, changed all that. The Rutles were now worldwide sensations such as in Canada, Australia, Wales and their faces and names were on many pieces of merchandise such as pillows, backpacks, lunchboxes, toys, and of course, albums. Their fourth album, Rutles for Sale, had a heavy focus on more country-like music such as Now She's Left You. In January 1965, Barry would be married with all of the Rutles attending. Inside the church with the large crowd, Barry got separated from his bride to be, who was accidentally married to some Scotsman from Hull, inspiring Barry's haunting ballad in 1969. Despite this, Barry had a happy marriage for eight years. In 1965, the Rutles filmed and recorded their next film/album, Ouch!, featuring such songs as Living in Hope, I Love You and the title track itself. It was another big success and soon in August 1965, the Rutles would perform in Che Stadium, where they sang "It's Looking Good", a song which would later be featured in their sixth album, Rutle Soul. The album was a big change from the previous albums and musically, the song got more complex. In 1966, Ron Nasty and the Rutles got into trouble as Ron claimed that they were supposedly bigger than God. Outrage caught fire soon after. Album sales skyrocketed. People bought albums just to burn them. But in fact, it was all a ghastly mistake. Ron simply claimed that they were bigger than Rod as in Rod Stewart. Ron then apologised to God and Rod and the tour went on, although it would be their last. The Triangular Album, the next album, was very experimental, and no songs from the album was performed live. At the end of the 1966, the Rutles began work on their Sgt Rutters, considered their greatest album and featuring such songs as Good Times Roll and Cheese and Onions, after they heavily experimented with tea. Soon after, Dirk made a mistake by admitting to tea use and Nasty himself was busted by police for tea use. As part of a "Their World" broadcast, the Rutles performed the song "Love Life" which was also released as a single that year in 1967. Love Life is considered to be the Rutles' highest in their career as things would only get worse from here. Leggy Mountbatten, in particular, had nothing more to do, since the Rutles had stopped touring. Leggy got in a downward spiral and got arrested multiple times. Stig O'Hara, meanwhile, fell under the influence of Arthur Sultan and would often listen to his teachings, inviting the other Rutles and their crew, who all agreed to isolate themselves in 1967. While they were there, the Rutles learned the tragic news that Leggy accepted a teaching job in Australia. The Rutles, showing little enthusiasm and willingness for the press, said they were "shocked and stunned". In early 1968, the Rutles finished their film and album, Tragical History Tour, which was not the strongest idea for a film and was slammed heavily by the press. These days, it's a cult classic, but it was enough to create tension in the Rutles. It got so bad that one of the songs, Piggy in the Middle was in the film, but not on the album. Instead, I Am the Waitress was on the album. Later in 1968, Ron and Dirk set up Rutle Corps, a company set up to help people get money, possibly causing Rutle Corps to quickly lose money faster than gain money. The Rutles then opened a boutique, again losing money, before Nasty blew it up. Later on, the Rutles finished work on Yellow Submarine Sandwich, an album and animated film, featuring the song "Cheese and Onions". During that time, they also worked on Semi-Automatic, a double album. There were many tensions in the group by then. They would sing but they wouldn't talk to each other. Eventually, they wouldn't even sing. That's how Archie Macaw knew the album was finished. It was yet another big success and the Rutles moved onto the Get Up And Go Project where they would do short snippets of songs for the sake of it. Things eventually got so bad that by March 1969, both Ron and Dirk got married. Dirk had been married to Martini, who spoke no English, but French. The wedding was done in Chinese too, to be on the safe side. There, Dirk decided to write "Today Is Our Wedding Day" improvising on the piano at the same time, to Martini's boredom. Nasty meanwhile had visited the Pretentious Gallery of Soho. Amongst the piles of rubble, Nasty found the artist of the statues, Chastity, the daughter of Hitler. Chastity and Nasty had talked about her fantasy of throwing artists out of planes. To protest sewage systems, Nasty and Chastity went in a bath and Nasty invited Chastity to recording sessions (as Dirk would follow with Martini). Nasty and Chastity also made a film which showcased a thousand feet. Stig, meanwhile, hid in the background so much that in 1969, rumours went around that he was dead. Several disprovable facts went around to prove this. Firstly, he never said anything since 1966, he only sang, though he stopped talking a lot when he met Nasty in 1959. Secondly, on the cover of their latest album, Shabby Road, he wears no trousers, an Italian way of indicating death. Thirdly, on the cover of Sgt Rutters, Stig is leaning in the exact position of a dying Yeti from the Rutland Book of the Dead.

Stig was, of course, far from dead, but not far from Esher and he fell in love with Gertrud Strange. Barry meanwhile, also stayed in bed for a year, primarily as a tax dodge, but possibly to also start a "Barry is also dead" rumour, though it wasn't very successful. However, by that point, Rutle Corps was in big financial trouble. Nasty had flown back from his honeymoon to meet the most fierce executive in the area, Ron Decline. His only weak sport was dishonesty, but he struck terror in his office building. People would rather commit suicide than look at him. Nasty adored him, he was a man after his own wallet. Decline promised that if they let him take care of the money, they would never have to worry about it again, though Dirk never signed the contract. Dirk, Stig and Barry all had their own lawyers, and it would constantly change every two seconds. Ron called it the Rut Potato game, since every lawyer supported a different Rutle every day and everyone sued each other an awful lot. At the final meeting, 134 accountants went into the meeting, but only 87 survived. The Rutles were self-destructing fast. Let It Rot was soon after released as a film, album and lawsuit. Just before the Rutles dissolved Ron, Barry and Dirk all sued each other, while Stig accidentally sued himself.

The Rutles did one final performance in 1969 on the rooftop of their studio and soon after shot each other in the dicks. They all requested operation that day. After splitting up, Dirk formed a punk rock group called Punk Floyd. He sang and she didn't. The band broke up in 1980. Nasty turned his back on the world and so with his thoughts and memories. Barry became two hairdressers in the area while Stig worked in Air India as he does today. In 1996, three of the Rutles reunited for the Archaeology album and recorded Don't Know Why and a new music video for Shangri-La. Ron would die sad and lonely on 30 December 2019.